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[07 Jan 2009|10:25pm] |
I awoke
Only to find my lungs empty
And through the night
So it seems I'm not breathing
And now my dreams are nothing like they were meant to be
And I'm breaking down, I think I'm breaking down
And I'm afraid
To sleep because of what haunts me
Such as living with the uncertainty
That I'll never find the words to say
Which would completely explain
Just how I'm breaking down
[Chorus]
Someone come and, someone come and save my life
Maybe I'll sleep when I am dead
But now it's like the night is taking sides
With all the worries that occupy the back of my mind
Could it be this misery will suffice?
[Gordon Downie]
I've become
A simple souvenir of someone's kill
And like the sea
I'm constantly changing from calm to ill
Madness fills my heart and soul as if the great divide could swallow me whole
oh, how I'm breaking down
[Chorus]
oooohhh my life
Someone come and, someone come and save my life (save my life)
Someone come and, someone come and save my life (save my life)
Someone come and, someone come and save my life
Could it be this misery will suffice?
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| hmm |
[07 Jan 2009|08:21pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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so lets see....i met this chick....shes pretty cool! hahaha
but she doesnt want a relationship....how unfortunate right?
why me?
also...
i had jury duty yesterday....and my name came up... lucky me....ugh...
butttttt the case involved someone i knew from highschool....so i didnt get picked. hahaha..
and now...i got into a car accident earlier....i'm fine....no one else involved....
FUCKIN ICY ROADS.....
more fuckin money to spend that i dont have....why me?
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[07 Jan 2009|04:51pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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it makes me happy to know that every day (according to weather.com), sunset is one minute later than the previous day.
i don't know why that makes me happy. but it seriously does.
p.s. christine really needs some new clothes.
and for those of you who know me at all, you know it's bad when i say that i need clothes... because i'm seriously happy with wearing the same drab old crap everyday. but it's for realsies this time.
i need new work pants.
i need new boots - like, heavy duty ass warm and waterproof ones... and new fuggs. my fuggs now have a massive rip in them where i can practically stick my entire hand through and into the back of my shoe... so i stepped in a puddle today outside of work and thought to myself... oh, hell no... although my feet surprisingly seem dry. it's highly suspicious. and fyi, super glue won't fix these suckers.
i need like, NICE shirts to wear to work. something classy, and well made.
i need new flats... in brown and in black.
i NEED snowpants.
i need sweaters. sweaters would definitely be nice. any kind of sweater. a cosssssby sweater! haha something warm. i need warm things.
in other news, this is probably the queerest effing thing i've ever seen in my life.
http://www.musee-bizarre.ch/
no like really... wtf.
jordan, this is the crap i come up with when you tell me to research cool things to do in zurich.
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| We're still here, and improving our service to you. |
[07 Jan 2009|12:07pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Type-O Negative |
] |
With the recent news about LiveJournal cutting its staff dramatically, people are wondering whether their journals are still safe under the current regime running LJ. We'd like to take a few minutes of your time and let you know that our service has improved since the acquisition, and we are doing quite a few things to improve DeadJournal even more. To give you some idea about the safety of your journal here, the MySQL database is running on Amazon's Elastic Block Storage on a Linux XFS file system. Together this provides speed and massive redundance, as well as the ability for us to frequent database snapshots which we can roll back to in the unlikely event of a failure. System-wise, we are running on Amazon's Elastic Computing Cloud, which gives us a huge advantage of not having to deal with hardware, plus extremely easy scaling when the load increases.
With your paid accounts, you are ensuring that DJ will continue to grow and provide you better service and features. We also invite you to ... invite those LiveJournal users who are worried to come on over and try us out. We will be increasing the number of invite codes for you to give to them and your friends. I recommend taunting, torturing, and other devices to get them on here.
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[06 Jan 2009|03:14pm] |
so beautiful!
jordan one word: rodelbahn.
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| why are you wearing that stupid man suit? |
[06 Jan 2009|09:57am] |
so they're coming out with a sequel to donnie darko called "s. darko" based on his little sister.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1231277/
...so lame.
why do they insist on doing these things to decent movies.
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| just blabbering on. |
[05 Jan 2009|01:04am] |
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mood |
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 enthralled |
] |
i have a dream, a song to sing
to help me cope with anything
if you see the wonder of a fairy tale
you can take the future, even if you fail...
my sister's lifestyle is something i have always secretly envied and admired.
she's taught children in ecuador.
she's been on an archaelogical dig in france.
she's lived in spain.
she's randomly worked at the smithsonian in d.c.
she's waited on people like cyndi lauper and bill murray and has shaken hands with bill clinton.
currently she's randomly working for the director of monsoon wedding in new york city while bartending on the weekends and is now taking on various jobs in film whenever she can.
today she calls me from oklahoma. she's been driving cross country since yesterday from new york to phoenix to help jamie move. she tells me that today she saw graceland... and that it was nothing too special.
i think to myself in serious awe... GRACELAND. i was so impressed! it's incredible how excited i get when i hear about the places people have been, and how genuinely excited i get for people when i hear they're about to go somewhere amazing.
my sister is a free spirit. she really inspires me.
i've been planning on asking my bosses for two extra weeks off this year (unpaid, of course) because i am planning on taking a roadtrip this summer to either the west coast or down south.
i just want to get up and go so bad. it eats at me everyday. i don't even think anyone understands... travelling has become a serious obsession of mine. it makes me ill to be sitting at a desk when i could be out exploring this insane world.
i would like to see graceland, even if it isn't that great... i want to see mount rushmore and look up at those big old heads. i want to stop in colorado and make snow angels in the mountains. i want to drive down the vegas strip and see the luxor and vegas in all of it's ridiculousness - then drive through the desert - just the moon and i - along those roads of nothingness that go for MILES.
i want to see the grand canyon and look straight down into its abyss. i want to run barefoot down the santa monica pier, and sip coffee in a rainy cafe in seattle. i want to sing folk songs with strangers in new orleans, and take boat rides through the bayous. new mexico is probably BEAUTIFUL and what the hell, i'm right next to mexico... might as well just make a pit stop there and eat some SERIOUS mexican food. i would love to go hiking in arizona which is one state that i am absolutely just drawn to. i've wanted to live on an indian reservation out there for years, actually. GOD i wish i could just go do that SO BADLY! this world is magical. and i'm starting to have this insane hankering to explore the united states... because there is so much wonder here. i know there is. and i'm going to find it.
i just want to go, and i want that feeling back. the feeling i get when i see something that i've only seen in pictures. some place that is so beautiful.. a place that i never thought i would see. a place that is just waiting for me to discover it. that feeling is a total rush, it's just an insane rush...
and it's freedom.
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| you'll be dancing once again... |
[04 Jan 2009|06:31pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
] |
jordan-
i am pretty sure that i am coming to see you february 7th - 15th. give me the okay, and i will honestly buy plane tickets tomorrow.
heather wants me to wait until june, but alas, i cannot wait any longer. i must gooooo!
so get ready for it.
i read in frommer's that you can horseback ride through mountains and shit over there. we need to get on that. and also decide what other business we're going to tackle.
- yours truly
p.s. i can't believe i only saw you once while you were home... you crapper.
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[03 Jan 2009|11:39pm] |
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LMFAO.
bjorn, you are seriously amazing.
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| saabby. |
[03 Jan 2009|12:32pm] |
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mood |
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 SO FREEZING. |
] |
once it gets warmer, i would really like to do certain things on my car.
here is a list for example:
- i would like to learn how to change the oil... because here's the thing. i know i can. and if it's cheaper, than hell, what am i doing? valvoline is a rip off.
- i would like to install new speakers. because i'm pretty sure one side is blown out. however, i am at a loss as to how to do so. hence saabcentral is my new best friend. you see, i constantly feel the need to blast the volume as high as it will go... even if it sounds like shit... and then, suddenly, i notice that my car starts to smell like bandaids. seriously. and sometimes the smell is so strong, i literally have to roll the windows down. this is not a good thing. and it worried me for a while. but then i realized as long as i don't blast the volume... no bandaid smell!
- i would like new wheels. and tires. and yes, haha, i know the difference between the two.
- i would like to replace the rear badge, once and for all. think i can get that online. in fact, i know i can because i'm pretty sure i've found it before.
- i would like to figure out why i have so much fucking brake dust all over my front wheels. sorry. that didn't really deserve the f-bomb.
- i would like to figure out why i sometimes can't pull my key out of my ignition after i park and shut the car off. i literally have to start the car back up, put the shift into drive, park again, and try to turn it off. it's a nuisance. before i learned how to get myself out of this situation, i would actually miss the bus and stuff. hahahahahaha. it's funny now, but sure as hell wasn't then.
- i would like to read my manual for once, and try to figure out what maintenance needs to be completed and when.
- i would also like to fix my headlight windshield wipers (yeah i know... who the hell has headlight windshield wipers...) because i know one is busted. i would also like to figure out how those things even WORK.
... this list is to be continued. because there is probably PLENTY more.
damn, i wish it was warm outside.
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[03 Jan 2009|07:41am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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sometimes all you need is a good friend, some discy things, and a landfill to go sledding on.
:D thanks for that.
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| "And you better not be feeling sorry for yourself!!!!" |
[02 Jan 2009|06:27pm] |
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mood |
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 cynical |
] |
What would you say the definition of "Feeling sorry for yourself" is?
Because as it is defined to me, it means getting your feelings hurt.
So please excuse me while I learn to never get my feelings hurt.
Oh wait here I am "feeling sorry for myself" again.
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[02 Jan 2009|07:04pm] |
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mood |
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cold |
] |
i'm so excited i got my abba gold album in the mail today...
i will be listening to that shit for the next umbillion amount of eons. not ions.
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[02 Jan 2009|11:38am] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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"Hi."
"Hi. Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again. I guess I thought you were... humiliated. You did run away, after all."
"I just needed to see you."
"Yeah?"
"I'd like to, um... take you out, or something."
"You're married."
"Not yet, not married. No, I'm not married."
"Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high-maintainance, so... I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me."
"Okay."
"Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours."
"I remember that speech really well."
"I had you pegged, didn't I?"
"You had the whole human race pegged."
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| Video Game Meme and New Years Meme |
[01 Jan 2009|05:33pm] |
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mood |
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 nauseated |
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Buh... I have another migrane and I took two "EXTRA STRENGTH" Excedrin and it didn't do anything. FFFF. This sucks, I don't mind the headache so much but I hate how it makes me feel super nauseated. I wonder if it's because I've been dining on junk food recently... ugh imma go eat a salad. :[
( Video Game meme )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( New Years meme )
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[01 Jan 2009|08:56am] |
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mood |
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 okay |
] |
happy new years everyone!
the google thing today is adorable so i had to post it.
i had the weirdest effing dream last night...
i dreamt that i was shooting a movie with devon sawa (pre wild america) and we were totally into each other in real life. so when we were done shooting, we went and sat by this river bank and talked about what we really wanted to do with our lives. i told him that i wanted to be a teacher and work with children more than anything in the world. i forget what he said. but he was hot. so it's okay.
so anyways, i guess subconsciously, i really do want to work with kids.
this makes a lot of sense.
i think it's the one thing that's truly fulfilling to me. i feel like kids are the only people that have anything good to say anymore. i wish i was naive. i would give anything to see the world through the eyes of a child.
however, i still want to go to law school and study international law. so this poses a problem... maybe i can be a human rights lawyer for children around the world?
actually, i would probably really enjoy that. i need to give back somehow. i absolutely have to.
i feel like anyone that's blessed with two legs can honestly get up off their ass and help someone. i am at a loss of how to do this while living in marlborough, though... but that's only because i'm not being creative enough. there is always someone that needs help somehow.
it bothers me. i just need to look harder.
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| Another pet peeve. |
[31 Dec 2008|07:35pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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People going into my room while I'm not there and doing something. Like opening my window, or sitting on my bed or w/e.
I went into my room to find my window open. Why?
I asked her and she said it was cuz it was "sunny" today (Oh yes, fog is so sunny you guys.) even though my room =/= the house at all, ever. It might shine some light INTOMYROOM but nowhere else, so why do you need to open *MY* window? And my bed blocks 90% of the window ANYWAY. There is no point in opening it if you can't even see it.
Plus I hate it because she'll just go in there and muck everything up. Like open the window, or sleep in my bed (LOL!11!) and throw shit around my room AND NOT PUT IT BACK.
Hense I come home at 7:30 to find my window open WIDE FUCKING OPEN. I *HATE* my window being open at night because you can see clear as day into it at night and from like ALL THE WAY across the street where like druggies and shit hang out sometimes.
YES I WANT THOSE PEOPEL TO SEE INTO MY ROOM AT NIGHT.
PLEASE PUT THINGS BACK WHEN YOU AREN'T USING THEM.
ALSO, YOUR ROOM IS ACROSS THE HALL, PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH MY THINGS.
K THANKS.
Of course I can't even say of this to her because then I'll activate rage mode (: yay.
Also it smells like a fucking campfire in here because my door was left wide open when there was a fire when I already said I DON'T LIKE MY DOOR BEING OPEN WITH A FIRE because our fire place is busted or something and shit tons of smoke goes into the house and it makes my eyes burn hardcore. Also I don't like smelling ashtrays in my room. I get enough of this all summer long when the entire state of california is on fire. Seriously, either burn some wood that doesn't smell like destruction or clean out the fireplace so it isn't destroying my lungs and eyes.
Oh but wait, of course I can't expect anything because it's not my house. c_c; grrr.
and the neighbors parked all retarded so when i come home tonight after the party im gonnan have to park across the street and hope my windshield doesn't get smashed in. CUZ WE ALL KNOW I CAN AFFORD THAT.
lol k w/e.
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[31 Dec 2008|09:49am] |
KINDA wanna move to boston.
not gonna lie.
[edited: and/or colorado.]
[edited again: PREFERABLY ENGLAND.]
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